You all are Fake!

I play Amateur Football in Warsaw, Poland. The same teammates have played with me every week for the last 2 years. Most of them are about 7-8 years older than me, are married, have cars, own apartments, and have kids.

Last week, we were returning to Warsaw from a nearby city after a match and I was sitting with 2 Polish guys in their car. The guy who was driving asked me - 'What do you think the most significant difference is when it comes to living in India vs living in Poland?'

To this, I replied - 'I love living in Poland, I have a higher salary, the roads are cleaner, football is on a higher level, and there are amazing grounds to play football every week but the only thing I find weird here is that people do not talk to each other. Neighbors do not talk to each other. People are on their phones on public transport and to me this is weird. In India, people talk to each other. In trains, in shops, in the metro, and on the road.'

After listening to this, my friend said to me - 'I don't understand how you Indians and Americans can enjoy talking to everyone. How can you love everyone? I love only my family. You all are fake in my opinion. Yes, we are less happy than you guys but you cannot love everyone.' (The other Polish guy in the car also agreed to this.)

I didn't reply with anything, just listened and then they dropped me home. I thought about what he said for a week and I realized that people are not letting go of some of their strong and negative beliefs. My friend is not ready to try out a different way of living. He has never sat down with an American or an Indian to really understand why talking to strangers is important in society. People are getting more and more depressed because they spend more time on their phones rather than having face-to-face interaction.

An example that'll start off weird but will make sense later - I used to be an expert at sprinting. If any upcoming athlete used to ask me for advice, I used to give it. But now, I am not an expert at sprinting anymore. There are different exercises and methods to run faster. As much as I hate saying it, I have to reply with - 'Sorry, I don't really know.'

Trust me, I was an expert and one of the fastest runners in my state and I have a huge urge to give 100 tips about sprinting but I am not an expert anymore. So I refrain from giving outdated advice. I could easily respond with a piece of advice that I believed was true for the last 15 years.

In the same way, we should always question our current beliefs, stop thinking that our way of living is perfect, and get to know others before judging them.

Wouldn't it be better if my friend said - 'I don't understand how Americans and Indians can love everyone. I would love to find out!'?

Boom, that's a new way to think.

“John Cage said, “I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.”

Don't just keep learning, try unlearning.

Sit with someone who thinks differently than you.

Think of a moment when you were proven wrong and had an Aha moment.

Be happy when you are proven wrong.

That's it from me this week. Love you all.

© 2023 Kunal Dutt.